Ok, actually
Ellen cooking is not a very uncommon thing. Ellen and F took a Chinese cooking class with
HutongCuisine! We got up early and took a cab towards the center of Beijing.

There we met up with Chunyi Zhou, the teacher, and 4 other participants of the cooking class and went shopping in the market. Chunyi explained how to distinguish between good and bad Sichuan peppers (you really only want the pods, not the seeds, and the pods should be red), what lettuce root was, that one uses pork skin to make xiaolongbao, what kind of sauce one uses for zhajiangmian, and other such trivia which made us feel that we might be able to actually make our own Chinese food.
Next we got a crash course in seasonings: what to buy and when to use what. To summarize: light soy sauce for flavor, dark soy sauce for color. Dark soy sauce only when the other foodz have strong flavors, like meat. With vegetables, fish and chicken only use light soy sauce. With stronger flavored foodz use both. I already forgot when to use vinegar, but it should be aged Shanxi vinegar, or Zhenjiang vinegar. Use yellow wine to get rid of bad flavors in meatz. Finally for cooking use peanut oil, corn oil, canola oil or sunflower oil and finish each dish with a dash of sesame oil (it seems).
We were then deemed ready to start chopping, and were then allowed inside the kitchen.

We got a demonstration of how to make dry stir fried green beans, and next could try our own hand at making them:

Our class was the "vegetarian menu", so the ground pork in every dish was optional.
Next up was tofu, of course:


Ellen made this very nice and moist jia chang doufu:

whereas F just caught abuse from the teacher for his five spices doufu when he poured on a little too much sesame oil ("it's ruined anyway, too much of everything!"):

Our teacher also demonstrated hot and sour soup and stirfry celery and lily bulb, and then it was time to call it a day. I guess we are now ready to dazzle the world with our Chinese cuisine knowledge.
Finally a picture of a beautifully sculptured arch in the courtyard where the cooking class was held.